5 Tips For Hope & Optimism As We Grieve

HOPE street signOften with grief comes hopelessness, perhaps with your loss comes additional losses such as loss of income both current and future, loss of support, loss of a co-parent – and this can cause that ripple effect of not feeling very hopeful or optimistic about the future.

As I acknowledge your feelings I also want you to know that in fact there is hope and things to be optimistic about in the future even thought they may not be apparent to you now.  When our loved ones die we don’t have to let our life of dreams die with them.  In fact, I have been involved in many support groups and when I ask someone who is grieving if their loved one wanted them to be happy and to go on and live a full life the reply is always “YES, they would want that for me.”

As we journey through our feelings of grief, once in a while remind yourself about what your departed loved one would want for you and then I challenge you to take one step at a time to getting back into a schedule of living life.  Here are a few tips;

1.  Write a list of 10 things that you love, things that make your heart sing (don’t over think this task, just write)

2. Take ONE thing from your list of 10 and intentionally do it!  Example; So you love art, commit to spending one Sunday afternoon at your local art museum

3.  Begin to get social.  Example; Call a friend or family member to join you for lunch or a movie and allow yourself some fun.

4.  Ask for help!  Okay, we all need help from time to time. So whether it is emotional or physical support, write a list of ways you’d like support and this coming week as one person for their help or support.

5. What would you do if no one or nothing were standing in your way?  No buts, or excuses here – just name it.  The idea is to start thinking again that anything is possible if we open ourselves to the possibility.



3 Responses to 5 Tips For Hope & Optimism As We Grieve

  • At the moment, 6 months after the death of my beloved husband I cannot think of one thing that makes ‘my heart sing’ but will keep this in mind and write individual things that suddenly bring me a spark of pleasure in my little book as they happen.

    I’m a mess and I know it but again can think of nothing anyone I know could do to help me at the moment. Again, if I do I will again note them down. I’m not one who has ever asked for help, my husband and I each instinctively knowing what the other needed, it has never been necessary to do so. Not sure I can now.

    I’m not a social person and going for meals etc or cinema have never held any particular joy except our Friday night alone meal. That can’t be replicated so needs forgetting.

    There’s nothing I have ever had a great desire to do except live a peaceful, gentle life with my husband, supporting our now adult sons as needed. I continue to support them throught this grieving period as best I can.
    Therefore at the moment this is also a non starter.

    I may sound negative and yes I am but I still go out to work, taking on more and more to fill my time. I am helping students get their best possible grades in their GCSES but as im paid to do it it’s not quite the same as ‘giving something back’ to society but for now it will have to do as I’ve no time to do ‘ Good Works’ nor to be honest have I the desire to.

    I have taken things from this article and though at the moment I can’t process them to aid my healing or acceptance or see a brighter future, if I do so in the future I have them to guide me.

  • I love reading your articles they truly inspire me. I am a widow at 43. My husband will be gone a year in January of 2014. We have a son who is 7. This has been extremely difficult especially since it was so fast and we miss him everyday but we have great support and family and friends who keep us motivated.working through the pain is a day to day way of life now but your words really do help.thank you.

  • Thank you for the words of inspiration! My husband passed 1/10/2012, his brother passed almost 1 year latter 1/4/2013. This has been a hard year but I keep my faith and trust in God to get through each day one day at a time. I will pass on this website to my sister in law, it is very helpful. Thank you

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