Resilience

Today Elizabeth Edwards died after her long battle with cancer.  I so admired this woman who taught us much about resilience and facing life’s adversities.  She shared publicly her private moments of joy and sorrow all while holding her head high and using each step of her life as a teaching opportunity for her children.

Elizabeth Edwards seemed to face life with grace and dignity up to the end and on her own terms.  She was determined to spend her remaining days living,  according to the reports.   She had said that she had to reconcile with God , no longer as an intervening God because she new that was past but with a God where she seeks salvation and enlightenment. “It’s the God I have now” she said.

I have thought often about resilience myself, I believe I have found it for myself, but have YOU?  Do you believe you have or can be resilient?

Is resilience a learned skill?  Or are we born with a gene that makes us more resilient than someone else?  Is our resilience predictable?  How do we measure resilience?  I hadn’t thought much about this until 2005 when I experienced the most devastating year of my life and my own resilience was tested following the deaths of my mother, husband and uncle.  I know that first couple of years I wondered how I would survive let alone how would I thrive and feel joy again, but I did.  I am resilient and I am living life with joy, on my own terms.

My Dad taught me a great lesson while following my mom’s death and while he was with me helping me following my husbands death, he said “JoAnne, we just play the cards we’re dealt, we might not like it but we just do what we need to do.” I have encountered a number of adversities in my life and yet here I am, I keep pulling myself up by my boot straps, wipe away my tears, yell out in frustration occasionally and keep living.

Elizabeth Edwards said in her book Resilience, “I have said before that I do not know what the most important lesson is that I will ever teach my children, Cate and Emma Claire and Jack. I do know that when they are older and telling their own children about their grandmother, they will be able to say that she stood in the storm, and when the wind did not go her way — and surely it has not — she adjusted her sails.”

Rest in peace dearest Elizabeth, thank you for sharing apart of your life with us…

Are you resilient?  How have you lived life since your loss?  Please, share your comments below;

You can get Elizabeth Edwards book “Resilience” though Amazon, click the link below;

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Lessons From Loss are Lessons in Living Life

There are many lessons I have learned through loss, and I am coming to understand now that I probably knew these lessons all along, in other words they were within me, my core, who I am. However it took the tragedy of loss for me to remember those lessons and have the courage to take action and affirm how precious life is. I am not here to dwell on loss but rather support you in life.

Healing a broken heart can be done with time, courage and the desire to heal. Going through the grieving process and healing comes from within but we are not meant to walk the journey alone. Asking for the support of family and friends is necessary and perhaps spiritual healing from clergy or any spiritual advisor. From whomever gives you comfort, they too will help you to living life again.

Loss can bring clarity to your life and to the things that matter most, don’t ignore that. There is no going back for a do over, but there is another day to live a life of joy. Take each day as it comes, be grateful for where you are and what you have NOW, and be open to new possibilities. You can’t change the past, but you can direct the wind in your sails for the future.

For an inspirational read about the true value of living life, Please take the time to read - “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
–Randy Pausch

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