Dad and myself

I wanted to share some thoughts I have about Father’s today. First, I am blessed to have my father still here with our family. At 79 years old he is still vibrant, relatively healthy and interested in life. He golfs twice a week, still cares for his yard and house, owns a business he participates in when necessary and usually is the one partner with all the creative and savvy ideas.

My step daughter isn’t so blessed to have her Dad with us as many of my regular readers know my husband died in June of 2005. Kindra was just 15.  She dealt with her grief differently than I did or other family members.   I recall a statement made by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross that says “Children are old enough to grieve if they are old enough to love; they are the forgotten grievers.  They are forgotten because often times the surviving parent is often so overwhelmed with emotions that he or she is doing everything possible just to get through a day.” I encourage you to talk with your children regardless of their age about death, be open and ask how they feel, explain that death is a part of life.  If you are experiencing a recent death of your child’s father you might look into a bereavement group for your children. Sometimes talking with stangers about how they feel about death can be easier than opening up to a spouse who is also mourning.

Kindra & her Dad

Honor the memory of your father if he is no longer with you. Here are a few suggestions to get you started;

1.  Write a letter to your father, its a great way to express your feelings and release what you want to say.

2.  Write a story about your father and send it to a newspaper or magazine for publication, your are honoring his spirit and sharing him with others

3.  Do something your Dad loved to do, maybe he liked to go fishing – so so fishing for the day wearing dad’s old fishing hat and reminisce about times you fished together.

4. 
Go to the cemetery or burial place and bring flowers or a memento that reminds you of him

5.  Volunteer or donate money to an organization that your father supported in life and do it in his memory

6.  Start a family tradition of something new that the entire  family agrees on that will build a lasting memory for all the family members

This past Friday the Oprah show was a dedication to father’s and a wonderful statement was made that said “Every father has a dream for his family…” So on this day I honor my father and my late husband for their courage and determination to provide a loving and secure home, and to instill character, honor and integrity into our lives.

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