Birth, Death & Inspiration

I asked Kevin McNamara to share a little of his story of the death of his daughter because we so often don’t hear from men and the feelings associated with grief.  Please take a few minutes to read the story and check out the good work he is now doing on his website listed below.

Birth, Death & Inspiration By Kevin McNamara

Holly Maree McNamara, was born on the 20^th August, 1988 at the Dandenong Valley Private Hospital in Melbourne, Australia. Holly died on the 18^th of January, 1989. She died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (S.I.D.S). Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is also known as cot death. She was five-months-old. She was beautiful.

SIDS is described as being: ‘Sudden death of any infant or child which is unexpected by history and in which a thorough post-mortem examination fails to demonstrate an adequate cause of death’.

My own description of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is this: ‘My beautiful five month old daughter Holly stopped breathing and died for reasons unknown to any living human being.’

Losing a child is one of the hardest things any parent will have to go through. Writing about it is even harder.

When Holly died my whole physical body shut down. It was like a brick wall had been placed around my emotions. I couldn’t cry, even at her funeral. I was just numb. It was a sad and depressing time.

It took much soul searching to come to terms with her death.

I started reading books and attending seminars on self development. I became a self development junkie. I had a realisation one day that I had a choice. I could either go down the road of the victim and blame everybody else for my miserable life or I could choose the road less travelled, the road where I took responsibility for my own life and my own decisions. It is easy to blame others and be miserable and get family and friends to feel sorry for you. But that wasn’t for me.

I was becoming inspired by the books I was reading. People like Dr Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle had a message to pass on. They were inspiring others to become the best they could be. They were helping other people. They were changing lives. They were changing mine.

I had always been fascinated by people who meditated and I was dabbling in that as well. Over time it became obvious to me that meditation, inspiring others and writing a book about my experience was what I had to do. I had my own message to pass on. I had been through my ‘dark night of the soul’ and had survived and thrived. I had found my life purpose.

Here are three tips I give people who are struggling in their lives:

1. Start a journal. Write down all your feelings and emotions about your circumstances. While your negative emotions are living inside you they have nowhere to go. They are actually doing damage to your body and causing disease. When you write things down it gives them an outlet. You are transferring those emotions through your fingers to the written page. It is a great release for your body and mind. It can be a very cathartic experience.
2. Serve others. When we start helping other people we start to focus away from our own situation and start looking at how we can assist other people. Giving of yourself is the best gift a person can receive. Join a local community association, volunteer to help out at the local Salvation Army store or any local charity shop, help out at your local hospital, start a fundraising campaign for a worthy cause. Help others and you help yourself.
3. Meditate. All man’s troubles could be eased by simply meditating for 10 minutes every day. The result of meditation is peace. The way to that peace is finding out who you really are. When we meditate and go deep within ourselves we find the inner peace and love that is our true self. My meditation is now part of my lifestyle. Twice a day, morning and night. It has changed my life and will change yours.

Click HERE for Kevin’s site

Do you need support on your grief journey from someone who understands? Check out upcoming class and coaching. click here

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2010 Handbook of Life’s Best Reminders for Living

A friend emailed this to me and I thought it was worth sharing the ideas in the 2010 HANDBOOK

Sometimes we need to be reminded about simple and inspiring ways to live a more meaningful life, that what the following ideas do for me.

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..

4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours..

10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Read more

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Spring Restores Hope

Everyone loves spring. It’s the season which awakens our senses with its exquisite colors, transporting fragrances, bird whistles, chirps and additional daylight. Spring’s breathtaking beauty doesn’t just elevate our mood, it restores our hope. Here’s how.

For kids hope is staring out a window and counting the days until summer. For teens hope asks, “Where will the girls be; where the boys will be?” For young adults hope wonders, “Where will I find my soul mate?” For middle age adults hope finds extra daylight after work and cleans up the St. Francis statue in the vegetable garden. For elder adults hope prays the next family gathering is a happy celebration.

However, it’s harder to feel hope when we have lost a loved one, our job, our home or our marriage. But, my Friends, do not despair. We can change our moods and circumstances. Yes, of course we must acknowledge our painful losses, but we must not believe we will always be this way; that we will never feel happy again. I’ve seen many difficult lives and situations change and sometimes even transform. Yes, my Friends, I have witnessed miracles.

I like to think that the hope of springtime is a companion of our pilgrim soul. Just as our garden needs tending, so does our soul which absolutely has the strength to heal, find comfort, and discover a new light of hope. So let us nourish our souls with the presence of loving, sensitive, and kind people. And let us remember to eat healthy food, exercise daily, and meditate on the line from St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer, “Where there is despair, hope.”

Yes, hope. I believe in it and clearly this gentle saint did, too. I have a statue of St. Francis in my garden. It’s my favorite piece because it was a Mother’s Day gift from my children many years ago. Do you know it was said that when St. Francis died an exaltation of singing larks came down low and whirled about over his monk cell? My dear Friends let each of us be ready for the singing larks over our cells. Let each of us live our lives with hope. Let each of us make Every Day Matter.

Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S.,CGP Psychotherapist and
Author of When Every Day Matters: A Mother’s Memoir on Love, Loss and Life
Simple Abundance Press, Oct. 1, 09 http://www.WhenEveryDayMatters.com
Foreign Rights St. Paul’s and Better Yourself Books, Mumbai, India for publication/distribution for Summer 09

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Jane_Hurley_Brant http://EzineArticles.com/?Spring-Restores-Hope&id=2166279

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Lesson In Life’s Kind Moments

I like to share inspirational stories on occasion just because it keeps both life and death in a healthy perspective. Enjoy this story.

in hope & inspiration, JoAnne

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes.

I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean,
hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh
green peas.

I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation
between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

‘Hello Barry, how are you today?’

‘H’lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus’
admirin’ them peas. They sure look good.’

‘They are good, Barry. How’s your Ma?’

‘Fine. Gittin’ stronger alla’ time.’

‘Good. Anything I can help you with?’

‘No, Sir. Jus’ admirin’ them peas.’

‘Would you like take some home?’ asked Mr. Miller.

‘No, Sir. Got nuthin’ to pay for ‘em with.’
‘Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?’

‘All I got’s my prize marble here.’

‘Is that right? Let me see it’ said Miller.

‘Here ’tis. She’s a dandy.’

‘I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of
go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?’ the store owner
asked.

‘Not zackley but almost.’

‘Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip
this way let me look at that red marble’, Mr. Miller told the boy.

‘Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.’

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile said, ‘There are two other boys like him in our
community, all three are in very poor circumstances.
Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or
whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he
decides he doesn’t like red after all and he sends them home with a
bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on
their next trip to the store.’

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man.

A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story
of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one.

Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho
community and while I was there learned that Mr.
Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends
wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.

Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives
of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men.

One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark
suits and white shirts…all very professional looking.

They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her
husband’s casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke
briefly with her and moved on to the casket.>
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man
stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand
in the casket.

Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded
her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me
about her husband’s bartering for marbles.

With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

‘Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.
They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim ‘traded’ them.

Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or
size…they came to pay their debt.’

‘We’ve never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,’ she
confided, ‘but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man
in Idaho ‘.

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased
husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind
moments that take our breath.

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Miracles in the grieving process

Each day miracles are operating around us and within our lives, even during the grieving process.  When we are most in need and we are open to receive they will appear. Allow your needs to be heard by the universe today and awaken a sacred invitation for a miracle.  This will allow you to receive and be open to love, hope, inspiration along your journey through the grieving process.

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The Shack-Story of Heartache To Healing

If you haven’t read the book, “The Shack”, I highly recommend it to everyone.  It is a loving story of a man’s journey through grief, faith and forgiveness.  I don’t want to say more for those who haven’t read it yet, but it is a real page turner.

Today I had the honor of meeting the author, William Paul Young at a book signing event and later that evening to hear him speak.  I now am convinced even more than I have always been that many people through personal tragedy are lead to help others.  Wm. Paul Young will help many with this story of  heartache to healing.

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How Will Your Life Look in 2009?

Now that we’ve gotten through the holidays we are probably contemplating how will our life look in 2009?

As with most people January is a time for goal setting and planning for the coming year, well I believe if you are experiencing some sort of loss transition you too are wondering what the new year will bring. I believe finding hope, inspiration and the will to move forward in order to set those goals requires you to make the decision that you can and desire to move forward. Living on purpose really is about deciding to find purpose in your life and then taking the steps and getting the tools to do just that.

We certainly should wake up in the morning with the intent to have a day filled with joy and optimism and that positive attitude is the first step. The second step in to have a plan as to how you you will accomplish something. If you need more tools to accomplish your goals, then invest in yourself and get the tools you need. If you need support I encourage you to seek it out, whether it is from your family and friends or a professional. Most often professionals will catapult your progess much faster than your going it alone.

Here are some quick tips to get you started on a plan for 2009;

1. What goals do I have both short term and long term for 2009? (you can list both personally & professionally)

2. What are the obstacles that may be in the way of achieving these goals?

3. Who can help me achieve my goals? (list people and tools that will aid in the success of your goals)

A new year is for new beginnings, I wish all of you wonderful new beginnings. Contact me if I can help.

JoAnne Funch

“And now let us welcome the new year–full of things that have never been.”

–Rainer Maria Rilke

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Merry Christmas!

As I sit with my morning coffee and look outside on the blanket of glistening snow I recite all that I am grateful for this Christmas morning. At the same time I remembered all the Christmas mornings with my husband and Mom who are no longer here, but I choose to find and feel the joy in today. Soon all the family that will gather for a wonderful dinner and we celebrate that we are here, together in this moment in time. I think there is nothing better than sharing a meal with those you love.

This morning I received an email from a friend who lost her husband about 15 months ago and I don’t think she will mind if I share her Christmas thoughts of hope -

“Nights are quiet and dark and our imaginations explode with images, we wonder, we question, we think, we ponder. What does all this mean, is it real or just the dark playing games inside of our brains.

And in the morning as the sun rises and reality is clear to us again… We thank the night for all the possibilities, the dreams, the fantasies. And we come to the conclusion that we can make the dreams come true if we believe them to be possible and life becomes exciting and full. Open your heart and let the light in and dance to the beat of hope.” PK

Yes, there is hope and Christmas is that time filled with hope if we choose to see it. If you are Christian the Lord is born today and his coming has filled the world with joy and hope. So I leave you with a wonderful quote and my wish for a day filled with hope, love and lots of good eats!

Merry Christmas with love, JoAnne

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”-Hamilton Wright Mabie

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Putting Sorrow in Perspective is Healing

I was thinking how healing it has been for me to do volunteer work because it puts my grief of loss in perspective. Particularly during the holiday season as I wrote about before, we regress back to the good times we had with someone who has died and in my case I miss my husband even more during this time because we I have such great memories of the Christmas’ we spent together.

So yesterday I volunteered at my favorite local charity providing work appropriate clothing to women getting back into the work place. Most of the women that are referred to us are low income or have come upon hard times and can’t afford to buy appropriate clothing for the job they acquired. I worked with a woman who got a pair of boots in addition to some other outfits but as she left she turned to me and said “You don’t know how much these boots mean to me, I knew I didn’t have the extra money to buy boots this month” as I bid her a Merry Christmas and watched her walk away in her new boots, I was comforted by knowing we had really helped someone in need today and it put my sadness in perspective.

Death has taught be about life and the hardest thing I have learned about love is loss. I bet you are experiencing similar feelings right now. But also know, that others can inspire hope in us and that is my wish for those suffering grief, I wish you inspiration to feel hopeful and be blessed by the joys of the season and those people in your life that you treasure most.

Here’s a touching video on hope and inspiration. Take a few moments to watch it.

with hope & inspiration, JoAnne

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God Opens Doors

An inspirational thought of peace for those who believe in God or a higher power.
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen,
either He’ll catch you when you fall, or He’ll teach you how to fly! ‘The power of one sentence!
God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor.

God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.
Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing…

(click on the dove!)

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