What Can Faith Do to Heal Your Grief?

I talk with people about their losses all the time and it seems evident to me that more often than not it is ones faith that see’s them through their darkest, most difficult times.  Continue reading “What Can Faith Do to Heal Your Grief?” »

Share on Facebook

Thoughts on Father’s Day

I wanted to share some thoughts I have about Father’s today. First, I am blessed to have my father still here with our family. At 79 years old he is still vibrant, relatively healthy and interested in life. He golfs twice a week, still cares for his yard and house, owns a business he participates in when necessary and usually is the one partner with all the creative and savvy ideas.

My step daughter isn’t so blessed to have her Dad with us as many of my regular readers know my husband died in June of 2005. Kindra was just 15.  She dealt with her grief differently than I did or other family members.   I recall a statement made by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross that says “Children are old enough to grieve if they are old enough to love; they are the forgotten grievers.  They are forgotten because often times the surviving parent is often so overwhelmed with emotions that he or she is doing everything possible just to get through a day.” I encourage you to talk with your children regardless of their age about death, be open and ask how they feel, explain that death is a part of life.  If you are experiencing a recent death of your child’s father you might look into a bereavement group for your children. Sometimes talking with stangers about how they feel about death can be easier than opening up to a spouse who is also mourning.

Honor the memory of your father if he is no longer with you. Here are a few suggestions to get you started;

1.  Write a letter to your father, its a great way to express your feelings and release what you want to say.

2.  Write a story about your father and send it to a newspaper or magazine for publication, your are honoring his spirit and sharing him with others

3.  Do something your Dad loved to do, maybe he liked to go fishing – so so fishing for the day wearing dad’s old fishing hat and reminisce about times you fished together.

4. 
Go to the cemetery or burial place and bring flowers or a memento that reminds you of him

5.  Volunteer or donate money to an organization that your father supported in life and do it in his memory

6.  Start a family tradition of something new that the entire  family agrees on that will build a lasting memory for all the family members

This past Friday the Oprah show was a dedication to father’s and a wonderful statement was made that said “Every father has a dream for his family…” So on this day I honor my father and my late husband for their courage and determination to provide a loving and secure home, and to instill character, honor and integrity into our lives.

Share on Facebook

Global Grief Requires Healing

Right now at this place in time I believe much of the world is experiencing grief from loss of jobs, income, savings and sense of self.  If you have lost a job you might feel a loss of your self-identity, isolated and alone.  These are all feelings that we go through when we experience loss.  We all know people experiencing this type of journey through grief and many people are mourning their losses outwardly.   We must mourn the loss in order to heal and move forward.

Here are a few tips to share with anyone mourning;

1. Acknowledge the  reality of the situation/loss

2. By acknowledging you will reconcile and begin to heal/move forward

3.  Let go of the identity of the lost job for instance and be open to receive a new identity

4.  Get support from others, don’t feel guilty about asking for help.  By opening yourself to help you also open yourself to new opportunities.  Remember to ask for what you want.

5,  Your loss may be physically and mentally demanding so be gentle and kind with yourself.  Take extra time for self care. Perhaps committed time for exercise, walking a massage or even just a haircut can improve our mood and self confidence.

6.  Focus on things you’re good at, even if its in your spare time. Who know, perhaps it could turn into a job or some sort of extra income. If not, you are spending your time doing something you love and that nurtures you.

7.  Break free from all the seriousness of your grief, give yourself permission to just be silly.  Afterall laughter is the best medicine.

8.  Make a list of short term goals, things you can work on everyday that will lead you to feeling better about your loss.

9.  Make a list of 2-3 people that you can turn to for help or mentoring and be sure they will be therew to support you. You will find those who don’t want to talk about your loss, so be sure whomever you chose is willing to listen and help you.

10.  Be patient.  Be present and Be hopeful.

Share on Facebook