Grieving and Remembering Mom
Mother’s day can often be a bittersweet day. If your mother has died you are grieving and remembering her just as I am today and if you yourself are a mother you are being celebrated by your children. So mother’s day is a day to rejoice!
I have talked with hundreds of people over the years about their mother’s who have died and it doesn’t seem to matter how long their mom has been gone, they miss them as though it were yesterday. My mom has been gone for ten years now and I know I still miss her. Just this morning I said a little prayer and told her how much I wished she were here enjoying a cup of coffee with me this morning.
What I miss most about my mom
I think what I miss most about my mom is her wisdom. She was well read and knowledgeable about so many things combined with her amazing intuition. I would so much like to talk with her now about her life. I want to know if there is anything she wished she had done in her life, if she had regrets, what she thinks about politics and how it has changed in her lifetime. I want to know if she would change any of the choices she made in her working life, I want to know what inspired her to become a selfless volunteer. I want to learn more about what it was like for her to start a business on her own and what it was like to close that business. I want to know why she chose to go back to college and study both Greek and Latin while she was in her 60’s and how did that bring her joy.
I want to know what made my Mom sad. There was a time when she was depressed and sought therapy. She didn’t talk much about it but I sensed something deep and complicated.
I want to know what advice she would give me about situations in my life – I want to hear her keen perspective and wise words when I lose my way. My mom left this earth at the age of 74, far too soon for me. I lived out of state for almost 20 years and when we would talk and I would come to visit I never asked all of these questions I now can only ponder in m mind.
I rejoice that I have such fond memories along with all the questions. I know I was loved and blessed to have shared a time on this earth with her. I think of my mom often and no amount of time has lessened that. Time has softened the sadness of her death, I smile so much more than I cry and find gratitude in living and remembering what a truly interesting, loving wise woman she was.
Record your stories and leave a legacy
I think it is important to record the questions and stories of those people who hold the most significance in our lives. There is an organization called Story Corps, whose mission is to record the people’s stories and archive them in the Library of Congress for all future generations. I encourage you to check out their website and start now! They even launched a mobile app that you can use to record your stories right on your phone and upload them for safe keeping!
How are you remembering your Mother today and always?