Lessons Learned Getting an Oil Change

Today I went to the auto dealership to get an oil change on my car and I sat next to woman who was waiting for the work on her car to be done.  Before too long an employee came over to the woman, he spoke with her about some repairs needed for her car.  After he walked away the woman turned to me and said, “my husband used to take care of this before he died” I nodded and said yes, so did mine.

It got me thinking about how anyone grieving a death not only grieves because the person is gone but because our lives have changed in so many ways.  We used to have spouses, parents, sons or daughters that we counted on to perform a variety of roles in our life.  We grieve for what was and what the future might have been.

We need to adjust our sails so to speak and find new ways of dealing with day to day living. Following the death of my husband I learned to ask for help. Well, I didn’t do it right away, no I needed to act the part of a victim for a little while and do everything myself until one day I just couldn’t keep up with all the tasks of our business and home.

I spoke to the woman next to me in the car dealership again asking if she had help  or support from family or friends?  She said that she did when necessary and went on the explain that she just made up her mind to learn to do some things on her own.  She walked away with her head up and a smile on her face…and so did I knowing that I too had learned to handle some things on my own.

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One Response to Lessons Learned Getting an Oil Change

  • Jo Anne,

    This was one of the hardest things I think. As I do certain chores sometimes my mind drifts back to before my daughter died how we used to laugh and take turns doing things and watching her daughters. It has been strange going from being a “family” of 4 to just me but I have grown. Thank you for the post.

    Shannon

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