The Loss of a Child – Miscarriage

   Last week I got confirmation of a loss I never expected to experience in life.  I’ve lost many times over in life – my mom, best friend and grandmother all in a 3 month period.  But now, almost 15 years later, I am going through a different loss in life – the life of an unborn child.  Three weeks ago, I was ecstatic because I found out I was pregnant.  And now, I’ve experienced a miscarriage.  I’m lucky as I already have an amazing 3 year old, but I am still disappointed that #2 will not be coming as soon as I’d hoped.

This experience made me realize the power and need to maintain perspective.  I could have let this take over my being, like it did when my mom was sick and after she passed, but I didn’t get depressed or out of control.  I went through the grieving process slowly as things were happening.  I cried a lot, but did not lose myself throughout it all.  And then I came to terms with the fate of the situation, and am truly at peace with it now.  This is such a change from where I was 15 years ago.  I know you cannot compare the loss of a mother to the loss of an early pregnancy, but I feel like I’ve made huge strides in dealing with grief as well as dealing with life and keeping things in perspective.  I hope that I can remember this feeling for the next time I experience a big loss in my life so that I can take that with grace and perspective as well.

As was the situation with my mom passing, family and friends have been a huge support and comfort through this difficult time.  They are truly my inspiration to get through the situation and be okay, knowing that I have their support and love.  If there’s one lesson to share with the world about both experiences, it is to lean on your family and friends during such trying times in your life – they will be there to let you cry, hear your story, and make you laugh when you need it.  They are also there to be your rock and keep you going forward.  For the past 15 years, I have made it a point to never take my family and friends for granted, because they are such an important part of my life.

 **This story was submitted by a Heartache To Healing  reader who prefers to remain anonymous…Please share your comments about this story below, we love to hear from the readers.

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3 Responses to The Loss of a Child – Miscarriage

  • I do understand your loss I miscarried twice both when I was 3 months pregnant.
    Then I had my miracle child Larry God Blessed me with my baby boy.
    At the age of 26 my son had a terrible accident.As a parent to have to make the decision to take your child off life support.You feel the guilt because you shouldn’t live on then to have to make the biggest decision to do the worst thing in your life is more guilt.
    I was Blessed with a unbelievable son.
    I can only give you the best comforting advice its better than before the child is born then have the child for a short period of time and then something happens.
    It doesn’t make it easier but when you find out that a mom has lost a child there is a bond you have then no other understand s.
    God Bless they do grow in heaven my son did share with me I had a boy and girl .
    Carol

  • To the contributing writer: Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Heidi

  • I feel your loss in my heart, there is nothing more painful then loosing a child, I know I did also. and my life has never been the same. but they say lossing a child is the absolute worse thing, and it is. you heal faster loosing other people in your life, but you never heal from a child. I’m so sorry for your loss. unless it happens to you, no one can understand the pain.

    Nan

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