Putting a band-aid on grieving
After talking with some friends recently about their journey through grief I have come to the conclusion that in the American culture we tend to just put a band-aid on the grieving process. What do I mean by that? well, we want people to just “get over” things in this country, we’re always in a hurry to the next thing in our lives. We’re busy working to make a living for 8-12 hours a day including the commute (unless you’re in California, then that doesn’t include the commute) and then we rush home to eat fast-food because we’re too busy to cook a meal from scratch and then we rush our children off to their activities to come home and do laundry, pay bills and other miscellaneous activities in our rushed lives. Everyone has expectations of us performing those tasks I just mentioned and so we feel guilty enough to lead this crazy life to meet the expectations. So what I see happening to people who lose someone to death is interesting…our employer sends their condolences and after about a week or so wants to know when you’re coming back to work, so you put a band-aid on your grieving and buck up to return as quickly as you can to your job. Your children want you to stop crying and get back to meeting their needs and so the cycle begins. Why do we not respect grief and allow ourselves and others time to put their grief in perspective before we spend them back into the world? Do companies offer “grief leave” just like they would honor maternity leave? Nope, we just expect each other to GET OVER IT and move on. I’m not suggesting life comes to a stop completely, but maybe just maybe it should for a couple of weeks so the griever can come to some terms about their loss before they are forced back into life as they knew it. Something to think about……..