Reconciling To Our Loss

If  I were to ask anyone who has or is suffering the grief of a significant loss if they wanted to eliminate the constant pain of their loss and find a way to be happy and live again I don’t think anyone would say no.  And yet, many of us walk away from the very same opportunity each day.  Having happiness again does not depend on someone walking up to you with a magic wand and waving the pain away.  No, the steps to finding peace, honoring the memory of your loved one and living life again begins with you taking the first steps.

The first steps begin with grieving the loss of your loved one and through that experience you begin to understand that you do not have to dwell in this place forever. You will find your way out of the deep sadness to live life fully again. Every day, people die and those who loved that person start the grieving process. Some people suffer loss in tragic, unfathomable ways and yet rise up against seemingly overwhelming odds to survive and thrive through another day.  Others remain stuck in their grief unable to reconcile their loss and go on living life with guilt, or uncontrollable sorrow.

So do we get over our grief?

People do not “get over” grief and following a significant loss we never return to the way life used to be, because our life is forever changed by our loss.  Rather, we work to integrate the new reality of moving forward in life without the physical presence of the one who has died.

Pain and grief are part of life

As we reconcile to our loss, we find a renewed sense of energy and confidence. We are able to acknowledge that our sadness and grief is hard, probably one of the hardest things we’ve ever experienced and yet a part of life.

It is up to you to transform your life.

One day you realize in your heart that your loved one will not return nor will the life you used to share with this person. This realization begins to change the relationship from your beloved being with you physically to the memory and thus re-focusing your energy toward the future. This is a combination of your intellect, emotional and spiritual realizations all coming to accept the death.

Mourning the loss through crying, talking, thinking, shouting and whatever other means by which you experience your loss is the process that is necessary to transform and heal.

Healing and reconciling is an ongoing process, but it is a process. If you don’t begin the process you will remain stuck in your sadness and grief.

Are you mourning your loss? Are you working through the reconciliation or are you stuck and don’t feel or see how you will find happiness again?

“Fear doesn’t stop death, fear stops life” – David Kessler

If you feel isolated and alone with no one to turn to, please consider grief coaching, I can help you live life again while honoring the memory of your loved one..CLICK HERE

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2 Responses to Reconciling To Our Loss

  • Thanks JoAnne
    from my experience, this article is “spot on”!!
    thank you for sharing it.
    Pat

  • Good post and thank you for all you are doing to help people deal with their loss and their grief. As a widow, I know much about grieving and loss. Writing is also a way to heal, especially through practicing memoir writing.
    All the best,
    Susan G. Weidener
    author, “Again in a Heartbeat, a memoir of love, loss and dating again.”

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