Sharing Your Suffering Gives You Hope, Vision, and the Ability to Move Forward
By guest blogger Jackie Trottmann
The loss of a loved one, a treasured job, friend, pet, home, relationship, or experiencing divorce, all lead to major suffering.
The ultimate deep wound is feeling or being alone. A great gap is left that can swallow up your heart, mind, and the ability to see any light.
Why Avoiding Pain is Not the Solution
We live in a culture that offers numerous prescriptions for pain. It can be in the form of pills. It can be in the form of denial. It can be in the form of destructive behavior to numb the pain like drinking too much, taking drugs, overeating, sex, shopping, etc. It can be in the form of distractions like reading endless books, or watching endless television programs. It’s easy to be driven to these sources for relief, especially when people who don’t understand will tell you to just get over it.
Our culture says that we’re not supposed to feel the pain. We certainly don’t want to feel the pain because it’s too painful!
But sitting with our pain, going deep within the pain, feeling it and perhaps crying until there are no more tears left, is the only way to go through the pain and to find hope and a new vision.
This is not a quick process. It is, however, a healthy process.
This is Where Faith Can Help
If you have faith, this is the time for you to embrace your faith. You can surrender your pain and suffering to a higher power. For me, I call this power God. You might be angry at God at this point. I understand. I’ve experienced all of those situations mentioned above. I’ve been angry too. But that’s okay. Because God can take it. A higher power means a Source of love, power and strength that is greater than yourself. The Source can give you the strength to carry you through the pain and give you a way out without letting it swallow you up completely. You’re not alone. God is with you.
This pain of loneliness can intensify if you do not share your pain with others. Reading this wonderful blog that JoAnne has created is a step of hope that will bring you out of that feeling of loneliness. You aren’t alone. Others share in your suffering and have come through it.
Accepting Life’s Losses
Life will be filled with losses. I see that with my mother who is 95 and with my father-in-law who is 97. Thankfully, they both have their minds. However, their bodies are failing. They have seen the loss of friends, activities they once enjoyed, the ability to drive, and the ability to live on their own. They are not bitter. They have accepted this and have chosen to continue to live life to the fullest. They stay active and are an inspiration to the staffs and others at their assisted living residences with their positive attitudes.
You Are a Brave Risk Taker
You may not think of yourself this way, but realize that you are a risk taker. You risked to love someone. You risked to take a job. You risked to get married or be in a relationship. You risked to own a pet. With risk comes reward and also the risk of losing. That means that you are brave. That means that you have courage. That means that you will risk again. Without risk you will never grow. You will never know joy. You will not live life to the fullest.
Find the Good, Find a Vision, Take Small Steps Forward
At some point you will need to let go of your suffering. Find the good in what you had. Find a new vision so that you can take small steps forward. Surround yourself with others who have walked out of their suffering. Perhaps you can even help another find their way out of the darkness.
You are not alone. You will come through this, because JoAnne has, I have, and others have. Psalm 107:13-14 says, “He saved them from their distress; he brought them out of darkness and gloom.”
Jackie Trottmann helps people all over the world overcome anxiety and stress so that they can find peace, clarity and direction. She does that through her meditation CDs: Be Still and Let it Go and through her ezine called The Guided Life. She blogs on GuidedChristianMeditation.com and offers more inspiration on her Facebook page.
May you find comfort, hope, vision and the ability to move forward one small step at a time when you share your suffering with others.