From as early as I can remember my Dad’s mother brought up the subject of her child that only lived a few days after he was born. That was my first encounter with death. My grandma would recall vivid details of her child’s birth and his death as if it had happened recently. I never took note of the date, or even the month when she started talking about him. As I think about it now I probably should have. As a little kid it was kind of creepy to have Grams talking about her dead baby. As I got older I felt sad for her. There didn’t seem to be any way to comfort her except to listen to her tell her story. On the other hand no one else in the family ever mentioned the dead baby, not Grandpa, my Dad or Dad’s sister. I think I may have been the only person Gram’s could talk to about her baby that didn’t live. How sad is that. Continue reading
Lessons Learned About the Grieving Process- By Sandy Gambone
1. Be compassionate with yourself.
All feelings are OK and valid. You feel what you feel. You may feel anger, guilt, regret and many others, even relief about something. It’s all OK. It does not mean you did not love them, it means you are human.
2. Feel what you feel.
I don’t always do this, but the times that I have, I’ve realized the truth in the advice of really feeling your feelings. This helps them to move (feelings are energy) and it… Continue reading
I don’t know if you watched the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy last Thursday, if not I’m sure you can watch the replay online.
It was a wonderful episode on how individual the grieving process is for everyone. Many of the characters went through disbelief, denial, anger and even laughter. I don’t think the episode ended in acceptance because that takes time and my hope is that the series writers will continue to shine a light on the grief journey the characters will continue to experience and how their lives will be changed.
As you and I well… Continue reading
Losing a loved one after they have struggled with a long-term illness, can present the bereaved with unique grieving challenges. Even before we lose our loved one we may deal with grieving issues, also known as Anticipatory Grief.
Anticipatory grief means that we are doing our grief work, even before our loved one has died. This happens because we see our loved one changing, day by day. They become less able to do the things they used to do and become more dependent upon us for help and self-care. The loved one could be a husband,… Continue reading
Often we hear grieving children referred to as the forgotten mourners. We don’t mean to neglect our children in grief, but as grieving adults our world is filled with making funeral arrangements, dealing with guests, submitting paperwork that follows a death, and trying to deal with our own grief on top of that.
Part of our grief process is to struggle with the fact that our loved one is never coming back, deciding whether we are ready to go back to work, trying to take care of basic family needs, house and yard responsibilities and dealing with our well meaning… Continue reading