What Do You Fear From Loss?

We all have fear surrounding the death of a loved one, and I think addressing those fears will help you in the grieving and healing process.

After the death of my husband, some of my fears were as follows, please send me your comments in the space below as to what were or are your fears?

  • How will I ever get over this overwhelming sadness
  • Unbelieving that he is actually gone
  • How will my life go on without him
  • How will I manage our business
  • How will I financially make it

6 Responses to What Do You Fear From Loss?

  • Rachelle,
    You have to understand now your Mom has faced two deaths in a relatively short period of time. Now that her companion has passed it brings up the loss of your father as well. I bet she feels angry, angry that not only your father passed and left her alone, but now her companion has done the same. My father lost my mother after 51 years of marriage a month before my husband died and I know how sad and alone I felt after being with my spouse for eleven years, I couldn’t imagine how my father felt and what he was going through. So what I’m saying is be there for her as much as you can, assure her she is not alone and that you will be there. Be sure you spend time with her, take her out to eat, to shop or anything. If she is social, get her back into doing the things she used to do. All of these things won’t take away her pain of grief, but often being around people that care about her will encourage her to have hope and go on.
    if she persists to be alone at home, doesn’t want to see people and appears to you to be depressed, I would also seek medical and grief therapy for her.
    Many church’s and hospitals offer grief therapy groups providing grief support for anyone in the community. If you cannot locate one, let me know the name of her town and I will see if I can find one for her.
    Don’t give up on her Rachelle.

  • My father passed away five years ago – a year after he died my mother met her now companion of four years. Having a companion my mother was able to go and do all the things she wanted to but wouldn’t have had she been alone. My brothers and I were quite upset at first because mom and dad had been together 45 years and thought to ourselves – how can mom do this to dad? How is she able to date another man and not think about dad? We soon came to realize that had it not been for her companion our mom would have curled up into a ball of lonely and depressed. Having someone to “hang out” with, go to dinner, a movie, play cards, or just sit and talk can make all the difference in the world to those who have recently lost a loved one with whom they had been with for forty or more years. It has given our family an opportunity to see another side of mom. My concern is that now her companion has passed away, she is having a very rough time getting through the grievance process and we are worried she won’t get through. What can we do to help her? Open to all suggestions!! HELP

  • I would like to comment only to the extent of support, not instruction—-When we lose a loved one, they are always in our lifes because of the memories- that is a good thing- we were blessed with the special-ness of this person-
    To have another special person in our lifes is not a bad thing or a replacement of the person we lost – its another special person to be blessed with (another gift) –

  • As I told you before now nine months out the lonliness has set in. It’s been better in the last two weeks and I’m not crying every night I drive home from work but I try not to allow myself to think about it.

    I still have the last clothes he wore the day before he died hanging in our closet and his sneakers he wore taking my beloved Scottie for a walk in the front closet. I still have the pillow case on the last day he was alive in my closet in our bedroom. I can’t let them go. I can’t touch these things because I’ll fall apart.

    Where am I now in the process? I have met a man that I like to spend time with, is this too soon? What will my two younger children think? I have so many things floating around in my brain. Do we resolve one step before we go on to another? Am I functioning from a desparate stand point?

    Can anyone address these questions? I welcome comments from your subscribers.

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