Words Of Comfort For A Loss

When you talk to someone who is grieving, it can be hard to find the right words of comfort for their loss. Even though the words don’t come easily and you just don’t know what to say, remember that your grieving friend or loved one does want to hear from you.

It’s natural for a lot of people to start the conversation with a “How are you doing?” or “How are you handling the loss?”. If you really think about that question logically though, it’s clear that someone who has just lost a loved one wouldn’t be doing all that well. It’s much better to be specific, for example:

  • Words Of Comfort For A Loss“Can I help you with anything around the house this week?”
  • “I know you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, but if there’s anything you need to talk about I’m here for you.”
  • “I can’t imagine the sorrow that you are feeling right now, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need support.”

Essentially, you’re letting him or her know that you care and that you’re always available to help or just be there for the person. It might not seem like much considering what they’ve just been through, but believe me, it will mean the world to that person.

How To Help Someone Grieving

If your friend is grieving a loss, never assume that someone else is going to step in and help. Believe it or not, a lot of the time people just stop helping the bereaved once the funeral is over. This is the time when they need your help and support the most.

When you first approach someone who is grieving to ask if you can help in any way, you may sometimes encounter some resistance. When this happens, don’t be afraid to give them a gentle push or ask again in a day or two. The care and support that you give will never be forgotten.

I Don't Know What To Say

If you have more questions about how to help someone grieving or how to find the right words of comfort for a loss, do leave a comment or send me an email at: joanne@heartachetohealing.com.

I highly recommend my book “I Don’t Know What To Say” if you want more specific advice about the subject.



3 Responses to Words Of Comfort For A Loss

  • It’s been 6 months today that I lost my husband, best friend and love of my life. I have yet to find words of comfort or people who truly care. I just don’t care anymore and am simply waiting patiently day by day for God to hopefully remember who I am and come collect me.

  • Michele,
    I understand your pain and sense of betrayal, if you can find it in your hurting heart to contact these women who still have the ashes and simply acknowledge that they probably don’t know what to say to you any longer now that your son has passed, but none the less you want his ashes back because it means the world to you. You might also have to ask for their support in specific ways, because I have found that the more specific we are with what we want, then our needs are met and isn’t that what you really want? We all go along hoping people will intuitively know what we want and step up to the plate, but that is simply not the case. Learning to ask for what we want and need from others ultimately is more empowering to us, I hope you will give it a try rather than remaining hurt and alone with those feelings.
    (By the way, I am not condoning the behavior of your friends, just acknowledging sometimes we can’t change that)

    I am so sorry for the loss of your son, I know it has left a huge hole in your heart. I pray his memories comfort you with the happiness you brought into your life.
    with love, hope and inspiration,

  • I had given some of my son’s ashes to 3 women who helped me towards the end of his life. Since he passed, almost 4 years ago, they stopped calling me (after 3 months he passed) have memorials for my son and invite his friends but don’t invite me. I feel betrayed. They told my son they would be there for me when he asked in the end. I am now deciding on buring Nicky as one and asked for his ashes back. I received one so far and the other two never responded. How do you react to something like this? They claim their love for Nicky is immeasurable, yet they don’t have the respect or dignity to come forth and acknowledge the very person who brought them into this life? There are no excuses for this type of behavior.

    And I forgot to say, that maybe an answer would be, they don’t know how to react or what to say, that is very untrue because these women are all chatterboxes in town and know exactly what to say to anyone.

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