Heartache To Healing

Author: admin

  • Grief can cause stress in a marriage

    Grief can cause stress in a marriage particularly if a child dies because often the husband and wife grieve differently. Often women will cry and hide away at home alone and men will bury themselves in their work.

    It is important to acknowledge each others grief and support that path.  At the same time it is easy to lose sight of the need to support the marriage because your grief can become so debilitating.  This is the time to seek help from a professional  who is can give you tools to support the grieving process and the marriage.  Some couples have told me the loss resulted in a closer relationship with their spouse, in either case know that you are together to support one another through good times and the bad and provide each other with hope.

  • Putting Sorrow in Perspective is Healing

    I was thinking how healing it has been for me to do volunteer work because it puts my grief of loss in perspective. Particularly during the holiday season as I wrote about before, we regress back to the good times we had with someone who has died and in my case I miss my husband even more during this time because we I have such great memories of the Christmas’ we spent together.

    So yesterday I volunteered at my favorite local charity providing work appropriate clothing to women getting back into the work place. Most of the women that are referred to us are low income or have come upon hard times and can’t afford to buy appropriate clothing for the job they acquired. I worked with a woman who got a pair of boots in addition to some other outfits but as she left she turned to me and said “You don’t know how much these boots mean to me, I knew I didn’t have the extra money to buy boots this month” as I bid her a Merry Christmas and watched her walk away in her new boots, I was comforted by knowing we had really helped someone in need today and it put my sadness in perspective.

    boots

    Death has taught be about life and the hardest thing I have learned about love is loss. I bet you are experiencing similar feelings right now. But also know, that others can inspire hope in us and that is my wish for those suffering grief, I wish you inspiration to feel hopeful and be blessed by the joys of the season and those people in your life that you treasure most.

    Here’s a touching video on hope and inspiration. Take a few moments to watch it.

    with hope & inspiration, JoAnne

  • Why do we regress during the holidays?

    Holiday time is all about regression, we think alot about the past, what was and those loved ones no longer here that we celebrated the holidays with, this is why holiday time can be so difficult.

    Family will often stop you from grieving during this time because they don’t want you to be sad so they won’t bring up the loved one that died. So often times its easier  to be with friends who will let you talk about the great times you had with your deceased loved one. Talking is a part of grieving and just know that especially during the holiday season you moods might wave up and down because you should feel a longing for the ones that are no longer with you.  Just  know you will get through this time of year and you will even laugh and find joy.  You might even feel guilt for being happy instead of being grief ridden – many people experience this too.  Just know you will get through the holiday season as long as you feel hope and love from those you surround yourself with.

    Wishing each one of you much joy during this holiday season.

    in love & hope,  JoAnne

  • Loneliness

    The loneliness of loss can be one of the most painful of the emotions you will feel during the grieving process. I know for myself and for my Dad, after the loss of our spouse the evenings are particularly a lonely time because it’s the end of the day and the time you usually settled in for dinner and an evening with your spouse.  You might want to find something to do once or twice a week to break up the evening loneliness even if it is dinner at a friends or and evening playing cards with a local group.

    Divorced people suffer the loneliness of loss just as much as a death, because it is a death or sorts. The end of a marriage can signify a great loss for many people and that feeling of loss, loneliness and despair are the same.

    I encourage you to seek comfort from friends, family and if you are religious from your church. 

  • Are You Open To Receive?

    Today I was thinking about how being open to receive relates to those going through any type of transition, I usually talk about loss as it relates to death but today I am thinking of anyone going through transitions. Being open to receive means putting yourself – your mental state in a place to receive love again, to receive kindness from others, to be able to simply say thank you when some gives you something. The act of being open to receive will open you heart to healing.

    My thought for today….yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to be. Go out an start a new day and be open to receive whatever comes your way. Start here by receiving the gift of a brighter more hopeful tomorrow from me.

    aug-2-hermosa-beach-002.jpg

    enjoying the day at Hermosa Beach, CA