Birth, Death & Inspiration

I asked Kevin McNamara to share a little of his story of the death of his daughter because we so often don’t hear from men and the feelings associated with grief. Please take a few minutes to read the story and check out the good work he is now doing on his website listed below.

Birth, Death & Inspiration By Kevin McNamara

Holly Maree McNamara, was born on the 20^th August, 1988 at the Dandenong Valley Private Hospital in Melbourne, Australia. Holly died on the 18^th of January, 1989. She died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (S.I.D.S). Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is also known as cot death. She was five-months-old. She was beautiful.

SIDS is described as being: ‘Sudden death of any infant or child which is unexpected by history and in which a thorough post-mortem examination fails to demonstrate an adequate cause of death’.

My own description of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is this: ‘My beautiful five month old daughter Holly stopped breathing and died for reasons unknown to any living human being.’

Losing a child is one of the hardest things any parent will have to go through. Writing about it is even harder.

When Holly died my whole physical body shut down. It was like a brick wall had been placed around my emotions. I couldn’t cry, even at her funeral. I was just numb. It was a sad and depressing time.

It took much soul searching to come to terms with her death.

I started reading books and attending seminars on self development. I became a self development junkie. I had a realisation one day that I had a choice. I could either go down the road of the victim and blame everybody else for my miserable life or I could choose the road less travelled, the road where I took responsibility for my own life and my own decisions. It is easy to blame others and be miserable and get family and friends to feel sorry for you. But that wasn’t for me.

I was becoming inspired by the books I was reading. People like Dr Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle had a message to pass on. They were inspiring others to become the best they could be. They were helping other people. They were changing lives. They were changing mine.

I had always been fascinated by people who meditated and I was dabbling in that as well. Over time it became obvious to me that meditation, inspiring others and writing a book about my experience was what I had to do. I had my own message to pass on. I had been through my ‘dark night of the soul’ and had survived and thrived. I had found my life purpose.

Here are three tips I give people who are struggling in their lives:

Start a journal. Write down all your feelings and emotions about your circumstances. While your negative emotions are living inside you they have nowhere to go. They are actually doing damage to your body and causing disease. When you write things down it gives them an outlet. You are transferring those emotions through your fingers to the written page. It is a great release for your body and mind. It can be a very cathartic experience.
Serve others. When we start helping other people we start to focus away from our own situation and start looking at how we can assist other people. Giving of yourself is the best gift a person can receive. Join a local community association, volunteer to help out at the local Salvation Army store or any local charity shop, help out at your local hospital, start a fundraising campaign for a worthy cause. Help others and you help yourself.
Meditate. All man’s troubles could be eased by simply meditating for 10 minutes every day. The result of meditation is peace. The way to that peace is finding out who you really are. When we meditate and go deep within ourselves we find the inner peace and love that is our true self. My meditation is now part of my lifestyle. Twice a day, morning and night. It has changed my life and will change yours.