Heartache To Healing

Category: Grief Support

  • A Nation Grieves For Those In Boston

    A Nation Grieves For Those In Boston

    prayers For BostonOnce again here in the US we are faced with grief from a horrible tragedy with the bombing at the Boston Marathon.  What we have viewed on TV is reminiscent of what we have viewed from war scenes.

    The grief over the sudden deaths and injuries will make people pause and wonder if they are safe?  Is their city safe and are their children safe.  We are all experiencing the shock, anger and sadness which are all typical reactions of grief.

    How do we talk to our children about what’s happened?

    We should talk to our kids honestly and only as candidly as you think they can handle.  Turn off the TV, kids don’t need to see the scenes played over and over again.  Reassure kids that they are safe with you and perhaps stay away from public activities that will have heightened security for awhile.

    Mourning As a Nation

    In tragedies such as this we mourn as a nation, we feel the pain and sorrow right along with the families that have lost their loved ones.  Grief is universal, grief is personal and grief has a name and a story.  So as the days go on we will learn more about the victims, their stories of how they happened to be on that street and and how their families lives are forever changed.  Next will come the funerals and we will collectively mourn, but we also collectively send our love and prayers and that is a powerful healer.

  • Grief From A Hurricane

    By now we have all seen the 24/7 coverage of the destruction on the east coast left by Hurricane Sandy on October 29th.  What I see are the many losses that the people will bear who have survived.

    from Reuters

    When we think of grief we immediately think of the loss of life and yet in addition to loss of life and the grief the families must bear is the huge grief survivors face.  Loss of their homes, all their personal possessions many of which are irreplaceable, their livelihood and their communities. Yes, their is much grief in these losses, we are humans and we cannot escape the pain.

    We will experience the same type of emotional pain as with the loss of life such as anger, denial, sadness and depression.

    How do people cope?  In many ways we cope exactly the same way we do after experiencing death. We talk about our loss, we get the support of family, friends and community.  We reach out, rather than keeping our emotions inside. Often times we see communities really come together and bond following a disaster, this is a way to cope and support each other while they grieve and rebuild their lives.

    How can you help?  We can all help by reaching out to those in need by listening and offering nurturing support especially to those we may know personally. We can also support through financial donations. often this is what is most needed to begin the rebuilding process.

    You can donate to your local Red Cross, or check out what Craig Newman, founder of Craig’s List is organizing. he will match the next $25,000 that comes in and he is spreading the word.  http://www.crowdrise.com/sandyrelief

    We’ve all been in pain from our losses, let’s lend a hand up to those on the East Coast and show our support as they grieve.

    with love, inspiration & hope

    JoAnne Funch

     

  • Grief Retreat Offers Peer Support

    Having grief support is an important part of the grief journey and healing process.  Grief support can come in many different forms including grief support groups through your church, hospice, hospitals, grief centers, bereavement organizations that support a specific group of mourners and even now through Meet-Up groups.

    JoAnne & Suzann

    This weekend I was invited to attend a retreat called “Sacred Journey – A Retreat for the Widowed” sponsored by The Grief Project and founder Suzann Eisenberg Murray.

    The retreat began with grief counselors talking about grief as an experience of change and loss and how grief affects us spiritually mentally, physically emotionally and socially.   The attendees were encouraged to remember that death ends a life not a relationship!   We continue the relationship with those who have died by talking & praying to them, honoring their memory through new and old traditions, keeping photos in sight to remind us of our relationships.

    They talked further about the idea that there is no going back to the person we were, rather we’re in between where we were and who we are going to be.  This applies to all loss, now just widowed people.

    There was a session on Journaling  Your Way Through Grief.  Here we were encouraged to let go of our inner critic, connect with our creative side and simply write.  A simple tip to get connected with your inner self is to write down a question with your dominant hand and then write your answer in the non-dominant hand.  Generally then our answer will come from our intuition, that inner self that knows the all our answers.  Journaling through grief is a process and having trust that it will take you where you want to go in discovery and healing.

    Indoor Labyrinth

    We were introduced to Labyrinths, which are ancient patterns, thousands of years old and found all over the world. Labyrinth walking can provide a sense of calm that is conducive to meditation, self-exploration and prayer. For me walking the Labyrinth symbolized taking steps to move forward in my life.  For everyone else, their walking meant something equally as personal.

    You can find Labyrinths all over the world,  check with your local church’s for more information or to learn more from our mentor Lisa Moriarty and Paths of Peace.

    Grief retreats can offer the mourner a safe space to share their story, get support and find a place of hope among other who are on a similar journey.

    I was humbled to be a companion to others on their grief journey, to witness their courage and strength in sharing their stories and the hope everyone shared when the weekend was over.  Yes, there was no going back, everyone was on a new path and through the tears, pain and heartbreak of loss it seemed just a little brighter when we left.

    Retreat group

     

    Remember you need other people to help you through your grief.  Grief retreats & other peer support groups are valuable despite the fact everyone grieves in different times and in different ways.  The support of others experiencing loss is powerful.  You are not alone.

    Check out the resources page for a partial list of organizations that offer grief support.

  • Lessons Learned Getting an Oil Change

    Today I went to the auto dealership to get an oil change on my car and I sat next to woman who was waiting for the work on her car to be done.  Before too long an employee came over to the woman, he spoke with her about some repairs needed for her car.  After he walked away the woman turned to me and said, “my husband used to take care of this before he died” I nodded and said yes, so did mine.

    It got me thinking about how anyone grieving a death not only grieves because the person is gone but because our lives have changed in so many ways.  We used to have spouses, parents, sons or daughters that we counted on to perform a variety of roles in our life.  We grieve for what was and what the future might have been.

    We need to adjust our sails so to speak and find new ways of dealing with day to day living. Following the death of my husband I learned to ask for help. Well, I didn’t do it right away, no I needed to act the part of a victim for a little while and do everything myself until one day I just couldn’t keep up with all the tasks of our business and home.

    I spoke to the woman next to me in the car dealership again asking if she had help  or support from family or friends?  She said that she did when necessary and went on the explain that she just made up her mind to learn to do some things on her own.  She walked away with her head up and a smile on her face…and so did I knowing that I too had learned to handle some things on my own.

    Need Resources? click our resource page, put a call out in your church, community or here online in our forum.

  • Mourning’s Not Predictable

    Mourning the loss of a loved one is not orderly or predictable, you will address the following needs when you are ready & will prepare you to take action on healing your broken heart.

    **
    – Accept the reality of the death
    – Allow yourself to feel the pain & sorrow of the loss
    – Allow yourself to openly remember & honor the person who died
    – In time, develop a new identity
    – Search for meaning in your life going forward
    – Always let people in to help you during this time and always

    with love, inspiration & hope

    JoAnne Funch, Founder

    P.S.  Do you need help? Need someone to walk you through the next steps in your grief journey?

    I offer private consulting and small group workshops.  email me for details. joanne@heartachetohealing.com