Heartache To Healing

Category: grief

  • A Nation Grieves For Those In Boston

    A Nation Grieves For Those In Boston

    prayers For BostonOnce again here in the US we are faced with grief from a horrible tragedy with the bombing at the Boston Marathon.  What we have viewed on TV is reminiscent of what we have viewed from war scenes.

    The grief over the sudden deaths and injuries will make people pause and wonder if they are safe?  Is their city safe and are their children safe.  We are all experiencing the shock, anger and sadness which are all typical reactions of grief.

    How do we talk to our children about what’s happened?

    We should talk to our kids honestly and only as candidly as you think they can handle.  Turn off the TV, kids don’t need to see the scenes played over and over again.  Reassure kids that they are safe with you and perhaps stay away from public activities that will have heightened security for awhile.

    Mourning As a Nation

    In tragedies such as this we mourn as a nation, we feel the pain and sorrow right along with the families that have lost their loved ones.  Grief is universal, grief is personal and grief has a name and a story.  So as the days go on we will learn more about the victims, their stories of how they happened to be on that street and and how their families lives are forever changed.  Next will come the funerals and we will collectively mourn, but we also collectively send our love and prayers and that is a powerful healer.

  • Sadness as a Part of the Journey to Healing

      Sadness can be the most hurtful feeling on your journey through grief.   But sadness is natural, and an authentic emotion following the death of a loved one.  Allowing yourself to feel the sadness is in large part what your journey toward healing is all about according to Dr Alan Wolfelt.
    Yes healing.  You may not feel like you will ever heal but I assure you that you will.  Oh, it may take weeks and months before you are confronted by the depth of your sorrow, which is good because you could not and should not handle it all at one time.
    Be patient with yourself, surround yourself with loving, nurturing people who will understand and support you.
    Occasionally, your feelings of sorrow can be overwhelming and might be classified as “clinical depression.” Grief shares many of the symptoms of depression.  If you are unsure if you are experiencing the normal affects of grief or if you are clinically depressed, please seek out professional help.  Sometimes we need help not just for our physical ailments but for our emotional needs as well.

  • Grieving Changes – Breast Cancer & Widows

    October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and I bet everyone reading this has been touched by this insidious disease, either personally or through a friend or relative. Breast cancer is one of those few cancers that can leave a woman disfigured, leaving her often grieving how her body used to look and how she used to feel as a woman.

    She grieves in many of the same ways as I have as a widow. I grieved for a life I used to have and was forced to find a new normal, so does she.
    A woman with breast cancer often wonders how she will handle dating, sex and her self esteem, again similar stages of grief that a widow faces.
    Often a woman with cancer will have daily reminders after her treatment ends of her loss – her loss of hair and often her breasts, a widow has reminders of her loss seeing pictures of her partner on every shelf reminders of a life gone by.
    Both cancer patients and those of us grieving loss are faced everyday with the fear of what the next day, week or month will bring during the grieving and healing process.

    During this month of awareness I recognize that loss and that grief come  in many different forms and a thought I wanted to share with you.
    Loss and grief surrounds us everyday, perhaps this awareness will make each of us more compassionate & hopeful with those who grieve loss in whatever form it takes.

    accentpink-ribbon

    I met a beautiful woman named Stephanie Sowder last week who has a line of butterfly jewelry to honor and support those whose lives are touched by cancer. The butterfly is a symbol of life. If interested you can check it out here: www.butterflyoflife.com

    If you know a woman who is battling cancer and want to give her a meaningful gift of support, here are a few ideas; CLICK HERE

    Hope BookHope CardsHope Journal

    CLICK here for store link

  • The Shack-Story of Heartache To Healing

    If you haven’t read the book, “The Shack”, I highly recommend it to everyone.  It is a loving story of a man’s journey through grief, faith and forgiveness.  I don’t want to say more for those who haven’t read it yet, but it is a real page turner.

    Today I had the honor of meeting the author, William Paul Young at a book signing event and later that evening to hear him speak.  I now am convinced even more than I have always been that many people through personal tragedy are lead to help others.  Wm. Paul Young will help many with this story of  heartache to healing.

    Author SigningWm. Paul Young & JoAnne Funch

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  • Putting a band-aid on grieving

    After talking with some friends recently about their journey through grief I have come to the conclusion that in the American culture we tend to just put a band-aid on the grieving process. What do I mean by that?  well, we want people to just “get over” things in this country, we’re always in a hurry to the next thing in our lives.  We’re busy working to make a living for 8-12 hours a day including the commute (unless you’re in California, then that doesn’t include the commute) and then we rush home to eat fast-food because we’re too busy to cook a meal from scratch and then we rush our children off to their activities to come home and do laundry, pay bills and other miscellaneous activities in our rushed lives.  Everyone has expectations of us performing those tasks I just mentioned and so we feel guilty enough to lead this crazy life to meet the expectations.  So what I see happening to people who lose someone to death is interesting…our employer sends their condolences and after about a week or so wants to know when you’re coming back to work, so you put a band-aid on your grieving and buck up to return as quickly as you can to your job. Your children want you to stop crying and get back to meeting their needs and so the cycle begins.  Why do we not respect grief and allow ourselves and others time to put their grief in perspective before we spend them back into the world?  Do companies offer “grief leave” just like they would honor maternity leave?  Nope, we just expect each other to GET OVER IT and move on.   I’m not suggesting life comes to a stop completely, but maybe just maybe it should for a couple of weeks so the griever can come to some terms about their loss before they are forced back into life as they knew it.   Something to think about……..