HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH GRIEF

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Healing Grief Includes Rest

Healing through grief includes getting alot of rest and actually is a good practice for all of us living in these crazy and unsettled times.   Following a significant death we are often anxious and our natural instinct to worry about the unfinished or unknown business looms large.   Remaining calm is great in theory but to practice this when your life has been forever shattered and changed isn’t easy.

I suggest to start by making a list of ways you can take time everyday for some extra rest, perhaps that might me sending the kids to the neighbors for a hour so you can take a nap, or scheduling an hour at the end of the day just to take a walk, breathe and let go of your worries for just that hour.  Also remind yourself that somethings are just out of your hands and so letting thoughts of worry go and intentionally making time to rest your weary mind and body is essential to your future well being. Continue reading

Telling Your Grief Story Without Turning Off Listeners

Every mourner has a story to share. You may share your story with family members, close friends, and community groups. But you need to share it without upsetting listeners so much they turn you off. How can you do this?

I have shared my story of multiple losses with many groups and take a “then and now” approach. It begins with the darkness of multiple losses, moves on to coping, doing my grief work, and the new life I am living today. You may take a similar approach.

Jenna Baddeley offers some tips in her “Psychology Today” website article, “Speaking… Continue reading

Loss of Spouse – Ageless

Tonight I had dinner with my 80 year old father and during dinner I asked him if it seemed like five years since Mom died, he shook his head and replied “No, not really, seems like it was much more recent.” There is a strange phenomenon that happens when you lose someone significant in your life, in this case grieving a spouse – its almost as if time stands still. We remember with great clarity how our life “used to be.”  During dinner I teased Dad about eating all of his vegetables and that I bet Mom was looking… Continue reading

Losing Mother

Losing a mother is a significant loss that we all will experience.  My Mom went to heaven May 18th, 2005 and as I approach the anniversary of her death as well as Mother’s Day I am  sad that she is gone and I am reminiscent over what a wonderful Mom she was.  When I sit quietly with my eyes closed I can smell her favorite perfume (which was Opium) and I can see her smile and almost feel her soft hands.

I don’t cry as much as I used to since she died rather I remember her… Continue reading

Grief Triggers Won’t Get You Down When You Have a Response Plan to Lift You Up

By Harriet Hodgson

Grief triggers – your deceased loved one’s birthday, the anniversary of your loss, and holiday festivities – are a recovery challenge. How will you respond? Will you continue to move forward with life or will the grief trigger stop you in your tracks? Worse, will you go backwards?

I ask these questions when I encounter grief triggers. Tuesday of this week was the third anniversary of my daughter’s death. Though I was not sure how I would respond, I knew the day would be hard. So I pulled myself together, revised my response plan, and used it.… Continue reading

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