How healing allows you to be whole again

Healing our broken hearts from our losses is difficult and I think it takes time and it takes work on our part.  We don’t just get over grief to all of sudden become whole with our life again, it is a process and when we are actively grieving meaning that we acknowledge our loss, experience the pain and sorrow and all that goes along with that and we mourn. 

Part of the grieving process is learning who we are and how our life has changed without the physical presence of our loved ones.  This varies with the significance of the loss.  For example when we lose a spouse,  now we must learn to live life without a partner.  There will be many things that are be different and will requires some change to our life.  We may not want to deal with those changes immediately because we need time to mourn the physical loss, perhaps the primary income supporter and the myriad of other things physical and emotional.

So many people ask me “When will I feel better?”  Here are some signs that you are healing:

• You allow for times of joy, even if there is still sadness
• By living in the present more than the past
• By believing life is worth living
• You want to be social again with family & friends
• You allow yourself to laugh and have fun without guilt

Healing does not mean you have forgotten your loved one nor does it mean you are not honoring their memory.  It means as long as you are still living, you have a desire to keep living!  I often ask people what their loved one would have wanted for them and the answer always is positive, they would want you to happy and keep living !   Healing requires you to have a positive attitude toward living, to push through even when you just want to go back to bed and cry.