The Loss of a Child – Miscarriage
Last week I got confirmation of a loss I never expected to experience in life. I’ve lost many times over in life – my mom, best friend and grandmother all in a 3 month period. But now, almost 15 years later, I am going through a different loss in life – the life of an unborn child. Three weeks ago, I was ecstatic because I found out I was pregnant. And now, I’ve experienced a miscarriage. I’m lucky as I already have an amazing 3 year old, but I am still disappointed that #2 will not be coming as soon as I’d hoped.
This experience made me realize the power and need to maintain perspective. I could have let this take over my being, like it did when my mom was sick and after she passed, but I didn’t get depressed or out of control. I went through the grieving process slowly as things were happening. I cried a lot, but did not lose myself throughout it all. And then I came to terms with the fate of the situation, and am truly at peace with it now. This is such a change from where I was 15 years ago. I know you cannot compare the loss of a mother to the loss of an early pregnancy, but I feel like I’ve made huge strides in dealing with grief as well as dealing with life and keeping things in perspective. I hope that I can remember this feeling for the next time I experience a big loss in my life so that I can take that with grace and perspective as well.
As was the situation with my mom passing, family and friends have been a huge support and comfort through this difficult time. They are truly my inspiration to get through the situation and be okay, knowing that I have their support and love. If there’s one lesson to share with the world about both experiences, it is to lean on your family and friends during such trying times in your life – they will be there to let you cry, hear your story, and make you laugh when you need it. They are also there to be your rock and keep you going forward. For the past 15 years, I have made it a point to never take my family and friends for granted, because they are such an important part of my life.
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