Staying Stuck In Grief

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I hear from many people via this website at all stages of their grief journey. Some are stuck in their grief and often find this as a way to stay connected to their loved one who has passed. Staying stuck in grief can be an avoidance for moving on with your life even if you feel guilt for living life when your loved one has died.

I often pose the question, “Would your loved one want you to go on and have a happy, fulfilled life?

Recently I saw an interview of Nate Berkus, the decorating expert. His newest book called “The Things That Matter” is about decorating but it is also touches on the intimate story of his life including the loss of his partner in the 2004 Tsunami. “Grief is an intensely personal process. Its timeline is not linear; it’s more like a roller coaster said Berkus.” A description we all can relate to! But what inspired me about this interview was how he vividly recalled the day of his tragic loss but how he decided to not let the loss define his life or stop him from living out the rest of his life.

How do we keep memories alive and continue to live life?

Finding things that matter

Finding joy and happiness is something we all choose even when sad things happen we must realize this is not a punishment and that no matter what we will be ok – only if we decide.

We can keep things that have meaning and remind us of our loved ones who have passed at the same time as we continue to live out life. “You can stay stuck in grief or decide to loudly live your life because staying stuck is two tragedies, said Berkus” My home is not a shrine to the past, but rather it is filled with treasured items of things that matter from the past and I will add to the things I love as I move forward with life.