Heartache To Healing

Tag: grief process

  • Life is Like a Compass

    Life is like a compass

    Just as our grief doesn’t follow a predictable course like a map, neither does life. In fact, it’s more like a compass because it points you in the general direction and then you figure out where to turn.

    We can listen to all sorts of people who try to help us learn how to grieve. There are thousands of books on the subject! But we’re all as different as the leaves on a tree. Grief is a process, not an event!

    If you think about the compass inside you, it is your inner wisdom or intuition that guides your way if you listen. I believe we all have that inner wisdom if we trust in it. Sometimes people ask me, “I don’t know what my intuition is JoAnne.” So I explain it as that little voice in your head that you guides you to a feeling, a place or an emotion. It’s those things you so often take for granted, that voice that knows what to say or do in a given situation.

    Stop Second-Guessing Your Intuition

    When you stop second-guessing everything that comes to you, something amazing happens…life stops happening to you and starts happening for you. When you trust yourself, even through grief you know what’s best for you in any given moment. If you decide that today you need to cry and have a pity party – then do that. If you decide to laugh and have fun for an evening instead of mourning alone at home because you think you shouldn’t have fun because someone has died – then do that anyway.

    Judging is For Sporting Events

    Life is imperfect so stop judging yourself! I say leave judging to sporting events, not your daily life’s decisions. We do the best we can each day with what we know. Stop judging yourself starting today! That means the judgment on where you should be in your grief journey, what other people think you should be doing, the questioning of your faith and the myriad of other things you ‘should’ feel or do. Stop shoulding youself!

    Don’t Force Change

    Your life is forever changed when we lose someone significant in our lives. Often the loss of a spouse or a child changes us in ways we never planned for. There is time to explore change, you may not see benefits now, just be open to change.

    The key to living life is to be curious and open to change. Enduring the transitions of our life is the key to your new normal – your updated life.

    We must let go of the life we planned so aas to accept the life that is waiting for us.

    Joseph Campbell

    Focus on What’s Controllable

    Understanding what’s controllable in your life and what is not will help you to focus on what you can do – or what’s possible. Now is the time to stop focusing on what you can’t do because that will keep you locked in the past. Use your compass to show you the way, be open to asking for directions when necessary and stay the course. Life has a way of working out when we look for the best to come.

  • Can Writing Be Healing?

    If you are reading this you are no doubt on your journey through the grieving process. I want to suggest no matter where you are on that journey, remembering there is no right or wrong way to grieve nor is there a time limit that writing can be healing.ist1_8072944-hand-and-pen

    Well you might say, “I’m not a writer” – but I challenge you to just jot your thoughts in a journal or a spiral notebook or what ever works for you.    Writing is a process just as grief is a process and remember no one has to read your thoughts if you want to keep them private, but in the act of doing sometimes we learn alot about ourselves, how we view our life, our loves, our challenges and our future.

    I write in my journal often, I don’t plan what to write, I simply write about my day before I go to bed.  I find that if I let the pen lead I tend to write from my heart and not my head.  When I’m thinking too hard about what to write it is more contrived then when I even write words that express the day.

    I wrote many things just after my husband died, I wrote about the week he was in the hospital and after he died I wrote about being mad that he left me and how that made me feel.  I wrote about my struggles and pondered what I would do next. It made me slow down and sort through my mixed feelings.

    If you read the August newsletter I sent out, I asked for writing submissions from anyone who wanted to share a story  relating to their grief process.  I challenge you to share because often times you can help someone else who might be experiencing what you are going through.

    The story I choose for September will receive  an autographed copy of the book “The Shack” & as a bonus a writing journal.

    Email your submission to:  joanne@heartachetohealing.com

    Include (optional)  your name, small photo and email address if you want the readers to be able to contact you.  You can also say “Anonymous” and I will leave off your name.

    Please include you mailing address with your submission. Send by August 31st if possible for consideration for September.