~Grief Guide on Becoming Bigger Than Our Pain~
- What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. Dealing with your rage and grief and fear will give you life. Acknowledge the pain, and then let it go.
- You define your own life. Don’t let other people tell you how to grieve. It is ok to be sad; the tears have to come to wash away the deep, raw pain. It takes as long as it takes.
- The ugly details of the death have no power over the present. Only you give it power. You push the pain out with love memories every time it comes back.
- When people hurt you with their own fears and terror that it could be them, take a breath. Rise above the pain, and forgive their ignorance. Continue reading
The mind really can be like a steel trap. Our thoughts and feelings swirl around inside our heads without an outlet, causing a buildup of pressure and grief – especially in a situation as devastating as the loss of a loved one.
But there is a relief valve: Putting your thoughts on paper.
Journaling is a form of self-expression that comes with no rules, boundaries or expectations that anyone else will ever read what you write. But by getting those thoughts out of your head and onto paper, you open your mind to valuable insight and healing.
How journaling has… Continue reading
From as early as I can remember my Dad’s mother brought up the subject of her child that only lived a few days after he was born. That was my first encounter with death. My grandma would recall vivid details of her child’s birth and his death as if it had happened recently. I never took note of the date, or even the month when she started talking about him. As I think about it now I probably should have. As a little kid it was kind of creepy to have Grams talking about her dead baby. As I got older I felt sad for her. There didn’t seem to be any way to comfort her except to listen to her tell her story. On the other hand no one else in the family ever mentioned the dead baby, not Grandpa, my Dad or Dad’s sister. I think I may have been the only person Gram’s could talk to about her baby that didn’t live. How sad is that. Continue reading
“One cold November morning my husband of almost thirty- eight years, Sid, died suddenly in his sleep. I felt like my shattered heart could not possibly go on beating without him.
I remember lying alone in the dark that night, begging God to take me, too. But when the sun came up, I was still breathing. And I knew that somehow I would have to eventually figure out how to crawl up out of the deep hole of grief that… Continue reading
People ask me this question often because they are in pain. They wonder if they will ever be happy again. First let me say that I don’t believe you ever “get over” your loss, rather we learn to reconcile to it in time. With that said, we do live in a society here in America and I suspect other industrialized nations in the world where everyone wants us to get over it, and get back to what others deem as normal life.
I know from my own personal experiences of loss that I felt like I was in a tunnel looking out and life was busy and chaotic all around me and I felt frozen in time. I acknowledge such cultures and religions honor the dead and the bereaved differently and I praise them for this.