Do you remember the song “As Time Goes By?” it was made famous in the move “Casablanca” and hundreds of artists have performed it over the years. Time going by is a fact of life and yet when you are grieving the loss of a loved one time can feel as it it stopped.
Just like you, every year I cope with the anniversary of the death’s of my Mom and husband – I wonder why it always feels like yesterday. We tend to conjure up all those feelings of what might have been, what we would be doing now and if only I could…(and I fill in the blank).
Just days before my fiftieth birthday last April, my beloved dog Tanner became gravely ill. He was diagnosed with a rare, terminal condition and died in June.
My friend Suzy helped me bury Tanner in my backyard, right by some special lilies I’d planted in memory of my husband. Adam also had died of a rare illness, a relatively rare bone marrow cancer called Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia, in May 2003.
In between losing Adam and Tanner, I lost my mother, as well, to complications from strokes she suffered at a family reunion on a beach in Maine in August 2005.… Continue reading
Losing a loved one after they have struggled with a long-term illness, can present the bereaved with unique grieving challenges. Even before we lose our loved one we may deal with grieving issues, also known as Anticipatory Grief.
Anticipatory grief means that we are doing our grief work, even before our loved one has died. This happens because we see our loved one changing, day by day. They become less able to do the things they used to do and become more dependent upon us for help and self-care. The loved one could be a husband,… Continue reading
Last week I had the honor of speaking with Taryn Davis, founder of the American Widow Project and her partner Nicole Hart. These two women amidst the grief of losing their husbands in the Iraq war, have become dedicated to support the new generation of widows – that of the military widow. They want other military widows to know they are not alone so Taryn produced a documentary DVD about the journey of six military widows, their struggles and sorrow and is FREE of charge to all military widows simply by sending a request to… Continue reading
Holiday time is all about regression, we think alot about the past, what was and those loved ones no longer here that we celebrated the holidays with, this is why holiday time can be so difficult.
Family will often stop you from grieving during this time because they don’t want you to be sad so they won’t bring up the loved one that died. So often times its easier to be with friends who will let you talk about the great times you had with your deceased loved one. Talking is a part of grieving and just know that… Continue reading