Heartache To Healing

Tag: life lessons

  • Life is Like a Compass

    Life is like a compass

    Just as our grief doesn’t follow a predictable course like a map, neither does life. In fact, it’s more like a compass because it points you in the general direction and then you figure out where to turn.

    We can listen to all sorts of people who try to help us learn how to grieve. There are thousands of books on the subject! But we’re all as different as the leaves on a tree. Grief is a process, not an event!

    If you think about the compass inside you, it is your inner wisdom or intuition that guides your way if you listen. I believe we all have that inner wisdom if we trust in it. Sometimes people ask me, “I don’t know what my intuition is JoAnne.” So I explain it as that little voice in your head that you guides you to a feeling, a place or an emotion. It’s those things you so often take for granted, that voice that knows what to say or do in a given situation.

    Stop Second-Guessing Your Intuition

    When you stop second-guessing everything that comes to you, something amazing happens…life stops happening to you and starts happening for you. When you trust yourself, even through grief you know what’s best for you in any given moment. If you decide that today you need to cry and have a pity party – then do that. If you decide to laugh and have fun for an evening instead of mourning alone at home because you think you shouldn’t have fun because someone has died – then do that anyway.

    Judging is For Sporting Events

    Life is imperfect so stop judging yourself! I say leave judging to sporting events, not your daily life’s decisions. We do the best we can each day with what we know. Stop judging yourself starting today! That means the judgment on where you should be in your grief journey, what other people think you should be doing, the questioning of your faith and the myriad of other things you ‘should’ feel or do. Stop shoulding youself!

    Don’t Force Change

    Your life is forever changed when we lose someone significant in our lives. Often the loss of a spouse or a child changes us in ways we never planned for. There is time to explore change, you may not see benefits now, just be open to change.

    The key to living life is to be curious and open to change. Enduring the transitions of our life is the key to your new normal – your updated life.

    We must let go of the life we planned so aas to accept the life that is waiting for us.

    Joseph Campbell

    Focus on What’s Controllable

    Understanding what’s controllable in your life and what is not will help you to focus on what you can do – or what’s possible. Now is the time to stop focusing on what you can’t do because that will keep you locked in the past. Use your compass to show you the way, be open to asking for directions when necessary and stay the course. Life has a way of working out when we look for the best to come.

  • Love Doesn’t Die – People Do

    Lessons in living from a life well-lived. Sharing memories lives on in each of us.

    A dear friend and mentor died a couple of weeks ago.  She was a month short of her 97th birthday. The funeral service was truly a celebration of a life well-lived. In fact, she was the model of how to live life in grace and because she was such an inspiration, people were not weeping but laughing and smiling as the clergy along with family and friends shared stories of her life.

    Love Doesn’t Die – People Do

    I was so moved by the clergy who wanted us all to know that the love we had for Joan will never leave us. She may have left the earth, but she lives on in all of us evidenced by everyone in attendance who came to celebrate her life.
    This is a reminder to all of us who have lost loved ones  –  know that the love we have for them lives on in our memories, in our families and often in the legacy they left behind.

    You’re as Young as You Feel

    Joan was recognized as one of the oldest motivational speakers in the U.S. which she started at age 50. She published her first book at age 56, “I Don’t Want Much From Life, I Want More!”

    Up until her death, Joan was committed to empowering others and believed that we have more control over our own ageing than we did in the past. Her sixth book “Now or Never – The Choice is Yours” was published in 2018” and sure to inspire others for years to come.

    Joan Kennedy 2018 Book Signing
    “At every age, your life deserves fulfillment, meaning, fun and laughter.”

    Loss Teaches us Lessons in Life

    It sometimes happens we get stuck in our grief; we have a hard time moving forward to live our own life following the death of a loved one or any other deep loss such as divorce, loss of a job or a home. Yes, deep losses can leave a hole in our life, but Joan would say “remember, your loved one would want you to keep living.” 

    As life happens, sometimes we get hit by some challenging curve balls and Joan’s life was no exception. She was orphaned as a child, abandoned, divorced and a single mother. At 65, she endured the loss of her home from a fire. Losing all her professional and personal belongings she thought she would never be able to start again, not at 65.

    One day, in a monthly magazine published by AARP, she came across a statistic that changed the way she perceived herself. The statistic was, “The fastest-growing age group, are people in their 80’s.”

    That fact inspired Joan to re-build her business and start again. It also changed her thinking to more positively proclaim, “I’m only 65.” One of Joan’s powerful messages today is not to let the calendar dictate when you are old and worrying about age is a waste of time.


    No one else is going to come along to make your life more than it is. Your life is an individual responsibility, an individual opportunity, and an individual experience

    Joan Kennedy

    Everything in Life is a Choice

    In March of this year, Joan’s doctor recommended hospice care, he said to her “Joan you’ve climbed many mountains in your life, you’re not going to get over this one.”  At the time I had been working with her on a facilitator manual to accompany her latest book. She wanted her legacy to be carried on through her work and have others teaching workshops based on her book.  She told me a couple of weeks later that she didn’t think she would be graduating from hospice so best get the workbook done!

    Everything in life is a choice, Joan reaffirmed this to me every time I talked with her. After hospice started paying her a visit, she said one day “I’m not alone, I’m not sad. I feel like I’m part of the future.”

    Tomorrow isn’t Promised to Anyone

    I’ve learned much through my own losses along with wisdom from my friend Joan. She said, “the things we wish we had done in our lives will be the things we put off, the dreams we let slip away, relationships we failed to nurture, and projects we started but never finished.” Well done Joan.

    Make the decision now to celebrate your life while honoring and loving those who have passed on. 

    Is there something you want to do with your life that you haven’t?  Leave me a comment below, I’d love to support you. – JoAnne

    JoAnne Funch with Joan Kennedy

  • Has Death Been Your Teacher?

    Death has truly taught me much about life.  Before losing my Mom and then my husband in the same year, I went on about my life not thinking much about the end of it. Oh, my Mom was ill but even then I didn’t think too much about her not being around.  Then my husband died tragically and even he would infer from time to time that he wasn’t going to die anytime soon and we would have a long life together…we had eleven years.

    Recently I read a book called “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer.  I found it to be a rather heavy thinking spiritual read. It delves deep into the soul and teaches us to awaken and release those things that keep us tethered rather than living a life of being present and alive to the life we have.

    Singer says “It shouldn’t take death to challenge you to live life at your highest level. Why wait until everything is taken from you before you learn to dig deep inside yourself to reach your highest potential?”

    It took me several years before I dug deep inside, before I was willing to look at my life, what was it I wanted and even deeper into what my soul to learn what truly mattered.  Of course I missed my Mom, and the life I had built with my husband…but I was not living life at my highest level.  I made a decision to change  my priorities, I find value in the simplest things like a walk in nature and stopping for ten minutes to listen to the songs of the nearby birds. Oh and work – it’s what I do to make money, but now I prioritize my time spend it with those people still living. I never, never put off a call or meeting with someone I love that I can do today.

    Singer also said, “Imagine if you knew you were going to die within a week or a month.  How would you change things? How would your priorities change? How would your thoughts change?  What are you doing with life?  That is what death asks you.”

    I’ve had many years now to understand how the deaths of people I loved have been my teacher and how will I choose to LIVE the rest of my life.  I am still learning and growing and this path of self discovery continues to open my mind and heart to love and blessings.

    How about you, please share in the comments below how death has been your teacher. – JoAnne

  • Lessons From Loss are Lessons in Living Life

    There are many lessons I have learned through loss, and I am coming to understand now that I probably knew these lessons all along, in other words they were within me, my core, who I am. However it took the tragedy of loss for me to remember those lessons and have the courage to take action and affirm how precious life is. I am not here to dwell on loss but rather support you in life.

    Healing a broken heart can be done with time, courage and the desire to heal. Going through the grieving process and healing comes from within but we are not meant to walk the journey alone. Asking for the support of family and friends is necessary and perhaps spiritual healing from clergy or any spiritual advisor. From whomever gives you comfort, they too will help you to living life again.

    Loss can bring clarity to your life and to the things that matter most, don’t ignore that. There is no going back for a do over, but there is another day to live a life of joy. Take each day as it comes, be grateful for where you are and what you have NOW, and be open to new possibilities. You can’t change the past, but you can direct the wind in your sails for the future.

    For an inspirational read about the true value of living life, Please take the time to read – “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch

    “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
    –Randy Pausch

    The Last Lecture