Valentine’s Day – Make a New Ritual

Valentine’s Day can be another sad holiday for those grieving the death of a loved one, I understand as I yearn to have my husband back.  He was such a romantic guy who gave me pretty cards and showered me with kindness on this special day of love.

As I type this post I think geez, we just got through the holiday season which is a tough time to cope and here we are coming upon another holiday that would usually set me into a tail spin of self-pity because I do not have someone special to be my Valentine.

This year is different, I have recently come upon the realization that sometimes I have held on so tight to the past that it has stopped the flow into my future.  So as I contemplated the new year I decided I do not want to be in the same place personally or professionally next year at this time and that if anything was to change it would have to be up to me.  So I made a commitment to myself this Valentine’s Day that I would not sit around and mope instead I would create a new ritual.

Once I made that decision I think the universe stepped in because I received a phone call from a colleague this past week asking me to speak to a group of women in a work development program on  job seeking skills and yes the date of the event is the 14th.    I said YES and thought giving back to others in need was a great new ritual and  I’m actually excited now to share my Valentine’s evening doing something meaningful.

I share this with you to suggest that creating new rituals can be a wonderful way to remember and honor our loved ones.  It can free us from the constant pain of our loss and help us heal and move forward into our future life while honoring the past.

So what can you do to create a new ritual?  Here are just a few ideas that come to mind, please share below in the comments your own ideas and share with others here in the Heartache To Healing community.

– Buy yourself a beautiful Valentine Card, flowers, chocolates or whatever your loved one would have given you – treating yourself can feel really good.

– Take yourself out to a nice dinner – you deserve it and your loved one would be so happy

– Write a love letter to your loved one, tell him/her all the things you have been doing and how proud he/she would be of you

– Take a valentine card or gift to a senior home and share some love with someone else

–Buy yourself  piece of jewelry or a special stone to carry in your pocket that will always keep your loved ones memory with you

– Plant a tree or flower in loving memory of your loved one

– Make a donation to the American Heart Assoc (Feb is Heart Healthy Month) or whatever charity you feel connected in the memory of your loved one

Remembering your loved one is a way of insuring that the past does not just live in the past, but it lives on and your life goes on.

Share your comments below in what new ritual you are going to try this year.